Do you sometimes find with your coaching clients, trainees, or learners that they don’t seem to be able to follow through on the commitments they make to themselves?
What would it be like if you could support them to connect their goals and outcomes to what is important to them at a deeper level so that they can even get more traction towards achieving them?
A critical role of a coach is to partner with their client to create an agreement for each specific coaching conversation. A vital element in clarifying that coaching agreement is to discuss how what the client wants to achieve from the conversation is important to them.
This question can often bring up the client’s beliefs and values, their ‘shoulds’ and ‘have tos’, and can often mean that the coaching conversation’s original outcome can change and evolve as the client explores more deeply. Oftentimes what the client initially suggests that they want to achieve is not really what they want to achieve; it’s something different.
One element I find important to add to this exploration is to ask the client the following type of question.
‘What larger or greater purpose is motivating you to decide to achieve that?’
When the client gives you their answer, you can ask the same question again about what they have just responded to, allowing them to explore at an even deeper level. The more you ask that type of question, the more the client has to consider their higher values and move up to what’s really important, what’s up there right at the very top of the tree!
An example of this that I share with teachers, trainers, and colleagues to show this in action is what you can read below. A teacher came to me some time ago and shared that their outcome for our time together was to pass their teaching exams.
A. So, what is it that you have as an outcome that you’d like to achieve as a result of our time together in coaching today?
B. I want to focus on how I can pass my teaching exams.
A. And how is that important to you and for you?
B. Well, I want to pass my exams so that I can get a full-time teaching job.
A. What larger or greater purpose is motivating you to get a full-time job?
B. So that I have a regular salary and have some stability in my life
A. And, what is the purpose of having a regular salary and some stability in your life?
B. I want to be able to go to the bank and ask for a mortgage to buy a house.
A. And with a mortgage to buy a house, what is motivating you to want that?
B. I really want to start a family.
A. And how is starting a family so important to you and for you?
B. I want to fulfil my dream to be a parent.
A. And fulfilling that dream, how is that so important?
B. I feel it’s part of who I am and what I want to bring to the world.
Therefore, because of this deeper exploration, getting to the top of the tree looking back down, we can see that passing those exams is only a part of something much bigger and more critical in the client’s life. Moreover, when the client is working towards that goal or outcome, having their values, their greater and higher purpose in mind as they do so can strengthen their sense of commitment and support them in following through with their actions.
And what about you?
What are some of the more important things you find there when you get to the top of your tree?
When you look back down from the top, how are the different elements of what’s important to you and for you connected?
Séamus
